...people can’t get any more ignorant, or do anything more bizarre than has already been done, I am proven wrong. The sad thing is, it is happening all too often and mostly with things of importance. However, as we’ve seen in the recent headlines has shown us, sometimes it’s things that are not important at all.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting a divorce. This has caught just a butt-load of folks by surprise—not that there is a divorce pending—but that it only took 72 days. This wedding supposedly cost $10 million and was viewed by a jillion people and mother of the bride, Kris Jenner, was just beaming while husband Bruce Jenner stood emotionless due to Botox injections. Whatever! I just really want to know what these folks do to merit this sort of celebrity. Really. I had heard that they are famous for being famous. At least Paris Hilton’s family has a business. I hope that this bunch can recover quickly from this sordid event. Kris Jenner, currently pushing her new autobiography, offended Native Americans to the point of chastisement over her remark about hating ‘Indian givers’ when asked if Kim would return the 20 carat ring. Oh, and something I learned--$10 million dollars will henceforth be known as 1 Kardashian. It simplifies things. Good luck, Kim.
Lindsay Lohan, train wreck heading for the wall, has been order back to jail for 6 months. In California months, that is about an hour. Seriously. The jails are so overcrowded, she will probably only have to stay an hour. Now that’s a real shame. Her community service is in jeopardy. One place, a women’s shelter, refused her as a community service worker because she was a ‘bad example’ to the women there! Can you believe that? Good luck, Lindsay. By the way, she doesn’t have to report until the 9th of November so she can complete her photo shoot with Playboy. Thank goodness!
Hey! It’s not all bad news! Kate Gosselin finally got a job. As a blogger. At CouponCabin.com. For real. Kate Gosselin, the woman who went into a full-blown panic when her show went off the air—‘I’ll be broke! I’ll be broke!’—is now qualified to tell the rest of us how to save money? Yes, that is exactly what is happening in her kooky world. Good luck, Kate.
Turning to the craziness called politics, we have Herman Cain. Whether you are a fan or not, and whether you believe the sexual harassment allegations or not, do you find it bothersome that his campaign contributions are on the rise? Are people endorsing sexual harassment with their dollars? Exactly what statement are they trying to make with this sudden influx of money?
Rick Perry—drunk? High? Just a moron? I’ll let you decide, but I am really concerned about the way he was gazing at that bottle of syrup and caressing it…
Locally, Bootfest has been declared a success. No doubt lots and lots of folks were in attendance. The report given to the City Council Tuesday night indicates that tons of beer and wine was sold. The crowds were estimated to total, overall, about 20,000. Folks loved the fireworks and the mayor said he heard they could be seen out the Goliad Highway. The music apparently was good. So, all in all, sound like a good event. No way to gauge the economic effect just yet, if at all. The Eagle Ford Shale folks are in that mix. And I'd like to see the figures on city staff connected to this event. Police, sanitation, and parks staff would take a big chunk it seems.
Just before O. C. Garza gave the report to the council, he played a short video of Bootfest. This is about forty minutes into the meeting. That meeting can be viewed here. You really ought to watch the whole meeting. And watch the previous meetings. See if you can figure out why Paul Polasek sits there looking like he’s been weaned on pickle juice. He looks like he is so out of sorts there would be no possible way to make him happy. He needs to take care of whatever issue has stolen his joy because no one is going to elect a sourpuss as mayor. And another thing—why does Polasek think he needs to explain everything that anyone else is talking about to ‘the viewers’ as if we were too stupid to have a clue here? That is another thing—the air of superiority—that will get you not elected real quick. Making me feel stupid always endears me to you.
Over on the forum at the Advocate, the pinheads are out in full force. At the risk of feeding into GetSmart’s ‘whatever drives him’ stuff, I’ll just report that he and his best buds rollinstone, observer and itisi are just twisted up like pretzels over the voter ID law being pushed by the republicans. Even thewaywardwind chimed in with the ‘if it is even just one case of voter fraud, it’s too many’ business. All I ever wanted to know was what was the actual incident rate of voter fraud by folks here illegally (that was suggested by a poster on a relate voter ID story). But, in their typical fashion they were everywhere with their posts and never got anywhere close.
Also being discussed on the forum is the viral video of Aransas County Judge William Adams beating his daughter. There is a lot of emotion attached to the comments. I am, as usual, surprised at the number of folks who are okay with hitting their children. I am not talking a beating like we witness on the video, but hitting of any sort. Rebecca and I are trying to hang tough on the no-hit policy, but we are definitely in the minority. I think it interesting that these folks who endorse hitting their children would never tolerate being hit by a coworker or a boss if they goofed something up. Could you see it? No more written reprimands in your personnel file. You’ll just get a slug in instead. I just find it hard to believe that these folks are willing, essentially, to admit that they are not smarter than their children. But then, again, just read their comments…
Alrightythen—I think I have covered everything I wanted to mention. Feel free to jump in, and yes, that includes you, GetSmart, and your friends.
So, until next time,
Edith Ann
"Infliction of pain or discomfort, however minor, is not a desirable method of communicating with children."—American Medical Association, (1985)
"Spanking is simply another form of terrorism. It teaches the victims that might makes right, and that problems can be solved through the use of violence by the strong against the weak."—Anonymous
"Researchers have also found that children who are spanked show higher rates of aggression and delinquency in childhood than those who were not spanked. As adults, they are more prone to depression, feelings of alienation, use of violence toward a spouse, and lower economic and professional achievement. None of this is what we want for our children."—Alvin Poussaint, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
9 minutes ago
29 comments:
It is my opinion that we need more spanking. I say Lindsey Lohan or even that sorry excuse for a woman Kim Kardashian should recieve a few "whoopings" during their upbrining instead of this timeout/hampering crap. Thats right I said it.
This does not mean I back Judge Adams and his insanity.
Enough is enough with the B.S. from the Dr. Ben Spocks and the Dr Phils of the world.
I really hate to hear that BigJ, especially since I don't think you have any children--at least I have never heard you mention any. Maybe I can persuade you to reconsider before you have children.
The other big arena of 'discipline' is what we call law enforcement. They are the folks who 'discipline' adults when they break the rules. Law enforcement is trained to use the least amount of force necessary when 'disciplining' folks. Why wouldn't we, at a minimum, expect that of parents?
I know--it's hard work to parent a child. It takes more energy to be a proactive parent than it does to be a reactive parent. I think parents are lazy, sometimes, when they do not put thought into how they are going to raise their child. My children always knew what the expectation was before the event. They always knew the rules. I never assumed they had adult level thinking and problem solving skills. Hell, their frontal lobes weren't even developed until just a few years ago!
Discipline is teaching, not punishment. And you cannot wait until the kid is a bratty 10 year old to start training your child. It starts when they are toddling. It is the same message over and over and over...and if your child is disciplined, they won't require so much punishment.
I just believe that you can raise a child, a decent child, without putting your hands on them in anger. All those folks who claim they don't hit their child when they are mad are just full of shit! If they are still wanting to hit (punish) their child after THEY have calmed down, then they should be able to pick a BETTER form of discipline.
I'm here to tell you it can be done, and done successfully, but you have to be engaged in the process 100%. Parents who are inconsistant, who are not united in their discipline, who don't follow through when it gets inconvenient for THEM create a scenario where they believe all they are left with is physical discipline and a confused child.
Lindsay Lohan may have needed more discipline as a child--I don't really recall her having behavior problems as a child--but what she certainly needed was the State of California to follow though the first time and every time she broke the law or violated her probabtion. Lindsay has learned that she doesn't have to follow the rules, first by hanging with the wrong crowd, making wrong choices and ultimately by having all of that essentially sanctioned by the one 'parent' who had the authority and the power to do something--the State of California.
Children do live what they learn. And for the record, the time-outs for my grandson who will be three in February, are working out very well. He has not been spanked. He has his moments--we're in the 'no!' phase--but the adults around him are all proving to be smarter than he is. He is smart, as kids are, and he is quickly learning the routine and I am happy to say, we're doing it without inflicting pain.
Folks need to put some thinking into their parenting.
At risk of being placed on probation again, corporal punishment, when used properly is effective.
Regarding mayor wannabe Paul, he exhibits a serious case of Short Dog Syndrome. Afflicted short men have a tendency of barking, biting and jumping as they try to enhance their stature. And Victorians do elect sour puss mayors. The case in point is Mayor Will. As Mayor Pro-tem, Short Dog Paul is mimicking his mayoral mentor.
Thanks for the head's up--next time you piss me off, I'll just swing by your office and slap the ever-living snot out of you instead of putting you in time-out for 2 weeks and we'll be done with it.
If that's okay with you.
Paul is going to have to get happy! It is just not a becomming look. But then again, I guess he's a little upset that he is on the horms of a dilemma--go ahead and run against the mayor he admires, or postpone his ambitions one more time in favor of the mayor he admires. That is a tough spot to be in. But you would think, if he is going to run this time and the mayor is as well, Paul would start NOW being the 'anti-current-mayor'. Especially since folks watch the CC meetings.,
Rick Perry? Just a moron. He might be a moron, but I didn't vote for him. Jerk.
EA,
That's a lot of subjects in one blog.
Speaking of the KarTrashians/Jenner clan, I might be showing my age, but who remembers when Bruce Jenner was BRUCE JENNER- Gold Metalist & broke the World Record in the Decathlon, face of Wheaties and the World's Greatest Athlete?? Now he's just a sad sad frozen face from botched up plastic surgery and whatever "topicals" his wife tells him to get, wussy whipped sight.
We have Ryan Seacrest to thank for putting this trash on tv.
Kate Gosselin, I was hoping she'd go back under the rock she came from. At least she won't be on tv. She needs to be a Mom to her litter and parent them.
To think we will soon have the verdict in the King of Pops doc here soon. Now that will be a 3 ring circus.
Not to make light of a serious subject, but I was just thinking how ironic it is to imprison those convicted of false imprisonment.
Punishment IS correction, if administered properly. Sometimes you just gotta get their attention.
mz mizer--Love the 'KarTrashians'--that is too funny! I did not realize Bruce Jenner had beena part of that clan for over 20 years. I do not otherwise follow these folks. It's entirely too much drama for me!
Kate Gosselin--agree. And isn't she getting some kind of child support from Jon?
The whole Jackson family drama is in the same category, for me, with the KarTrashians. Too much.
Riverboat--I have to slightly disagree and here's why--
The intent of a negative consequence (punishment) is to cause the receiver to correct something. Punishment is a motivator, as is pain, but the correction (in behavior cases) has to come from the one receiving the consequence. By that same token, the consequence of making the right choices, i. e., good behavior, is a parent's energy in the form of praise and recognition
EA,
Don't watch the KarTrashians unless it's by accident I have that channel on, but the spoof last night on SNL was spot on!
SNL Spoof
I'd love to wash that Khloe's mouth out with Lava soap, which should of been done when she was younger.
I just don't get the interest in Kim LardAsshian. Famous for a sex tape & big booty. Geez that's something to be real proud of!
Edith, I understand and agree with everything you say, but if the "nicer" corrections aren't working, other means must be applied.
Here's another quote for you:
"All the delinquent youths who were interviewed by the author regarded corporal punishment as necessary in child rearing; most were convinced that the beatings they received prevented them from committing homicide. The intensity of the violent parental discipline may also match the child's level of aggression. Thus, normal parents can expect to have aggressive children in proportion to the degree they discipline their children physically. The use of the belt appears to be effective as a disciplinary measure because it produces enough fear to end the unwanted behavior temporarily. However, as the fear decreases, aggression remains. The two basic responses to the threat of pain are fight and flight; females tend to run away, and males are more apt to commit aggressive crimes. Cross-cultural studies also support this theory. Thus, efforts to reduce juvenile violence must focus on the family; corporal punishment must be rejected, and schools must change their disciplinary policies. 37 references"
https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/Abstract.aspx?id=133579
Actually, it's common knowledge that 100% of inmates (violent crimes) were spanked - the types of "spankings" they received made Hillary's dad look like a light-weight.
You have to look hard to find research (opinions) on how alternative methods don't work. Actually, where you find examples of how parents didn't spank as a reason TO SPANK, there's more to the story. Like, the family gave up on their bad kid and washed their hands of them at some point.
But, here's the danger. When there is no compromise from either side, you end up with a court system that let's abusive parents off and a CPS system that takes kids away because of a scratch. No compromise means that the "win" for both sides makes everything worse.
Like - let's outlaw birth control vs let's allow abortions. With no compromise, we will have abortions AS birth control.
I want to say that corporal punishment should only be used if
1. no bruises or "stripes" are left on the child*
2. it is never carried out with a belt or other object!
3. never used on babies (even though the Pearls would say otherwise.)
4. it's used rarely and ONLY as a last resort and after other means were used and failed.
5. ONLY AFTER a discussion about the offense happens and the child knows why he is getting the spanking
6. AND when only used for a terrible offense. (NOT to end a silly power struggle where the parent is to blame because if you are in a power struggle with a child, you lost. NOT for something stupid like not eating all his his peas at supper.) Like when a child did something that would be considered a crime for the second time (because they knew better) But, come on, if it happens again, spanking doesn't work and you will feel you have to pick up the intensity each time! You will end up abusing a child!
7. AND when the parents never lose their tempers or spank out of anger, stress, frustration, or let the situation escalate...
ONLY THEN should CP be used, but *abusers know how to hide the marks they leave and I think many parents spank out of frustration!
It's true that the more stress the parents feel the more frequently they spank - and the harder they spank. If that's the case in your home, CP shouldn't be used!
If a parent spanks because they are irritated, then CP is teaching violence. "You hit when you are frustrated."
So, really the only way you can end the cycle of abuse/violence is education -or argue for non-violent parenting. Psychologists and Psychiatrists want to end CP 100% because that's the people they are dealing with! People suffering from mental illnesses, drug additction, sexual disfunction, ALL HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON: they were spanked!
But to defend spanking in that context is wrong.
That's just me. Of course, I like the conditions set out at: http://www.parentingscience.com/spanking-children.html
It appears Paul was placed in time out as a child. In recent city council meetings his pouting is becoming more apparent. Does “time-out” reduce one’s spirit and independence? Would spanking have created a more self-assured "child"?
I don't know Edith, I myself was spanked and really don't see another form of punishment that equals it. I do not have kids, but I believe when/if I do, I will spank as a means of reprimand. Watching other forms of discipline enforced on friends and neighbors children, I find it hard to believe the outcome I require is reached with a good scolding.
I don't generally support spanking (but agree with Rebecca's exceptions), but I can get behind BIGJ's plan to spank Lindsey Lohan. I think it should be taped and sold on DVD with proceeds going to charity. Who's with me?
Thanks for the link mz mizer! That was very funny! Yeah, I’m not a watcher either, but it has been hard to miss Kris Jenner peddling her new book! What a piece of work she is!
Riverboat, thank you. But you would agree that children—I’m talking little bitty before they grow up into surly teens) want to please. They like the praise and the smiles they get. And if we can understand that, why can’t some understand that THIS concept can be capitalized on? Parenting shouldn’t kick in when a kid hits age 10 and begins to be a brat. Discipline should start with tiny toddlers and should be old habit by age 10. I can’t, I can’t, I just can’t go to when all else fails, hit. I can’t. There is a huge range of options from one end of the spectrum to the other, so when a parent is claiming that hitting is the last resort, I’ll think, “how long did you experiment with all your options? 5 minutes? 5 hours?”
Rebecca, I was with you until the 3rd comment. You seem to reverse yourself. Am I wrong?
I think Paul didn’t get enough ‘tummy time’. He may have spent all his infancy, on his back, staring up at everyone. He should have been turned over once in a while.
AUEsq—it’s been a long time since you’ve checked in! I agree nothing equals spanking unless we start to use pinching, ear twisting or slapping as a discipline. I would like to think if you had children and when you do have children, that you will recognize that you are smarter than your kids! This is not rocket surgery! But, for many today, folks use the discipline that their parents used who used what their parent used, and so on. But we are smarter now and we have ‘permission’ to make better choices—we don’t have to rely solely on our examples. We have better developed discipline methods out there that are effective.
Last Anonymous poster—perhaps we could hook you up with Kim Kardashian’s videographer and distribution agent. EA gets a cut of any proceeds…
BTW—just this second heard that LL spent 47 minutes in jail. She's done with her jail time.
For some reason I can't leave a comment on your blog explaining number 3...
I don't know if you have heard of the Pearls, but their advice on child "training" (which is code for hitting your child 10 or more times with a belt or plumbing line) is followed by some as if it were the word of God.
There have been three deaths linked to the methods, and Michael Pearl was interviewed recently:
http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2011/10/27/video-faith-and-child-discipline/?hpt=ac_bn2
An article that mentions the deaths:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/deaths-put-focus-on-pastors-advocacy-of-spanking.html?pagewanted=all
#3 was speaking to those who would adhere to his advice. I guess it was also bringing attention to the insanity of his "godliness."
(that was wild, I tried to post something about all that from three different computers and none of them would let me until now)
Wow! This one is all over the map!
As for CP, one must first come to the realization that correlation does not equal causation. It is highly likely that a great percentage of those incarcerated were not disciplined with consistency. The fact that CP was incorporated may not be relevant.
More later...
Typically, I don't like to share personal experiences on a public forum, but I will make an exception here. As some of you know, my girlfriend and I co-habitate. She has 2 young boys. When our relationship first began, the situation between her boys and me was trying, but not unmanageable. It was clear that they were testing their boundaries, as well as expressing their resentment toward me.
Susan and I went into our relationship with a very clear and open co-parenting plan. She was to discipline her children in the manner she saw fit, as was I. Although there were times that Susan asked me to form a unified front with her, in order to correct unacceptable behaviors, those boundaries have never been breached.
The contentiousness between her boys and I remained for some time, but eventually began to fade. The more they have come to know me, they have developed a healthy respect for me and have increasingly looked for my acceptance. As a result, there has never been an instance where I felt the need or even the urge to spank her children. They know that role is reserved for their father, and they appreciate my respect in that regard.
Having said that, we have now reached a point where the boys exhibit (for the most part) acceptable behavior. My interpretation is that they want to behave, mostly because not doing so would disappoint their mother and myself. It is really a great feeling to have the respect and admiration of a child, particularly when you are "the other man". I have noticed a dramatic increase in their desire to include me in their lives, and sometimes even in their attempts to mimic my behavior or share my interests.
Why do I share all of this?
Having been raised not knowing my biological father, I now know the correct and incorrect ways to raise step-children. Too often, CP that is overabundant or over the line comes from a non-parent. I am living proof that it can be handled in other ways. Being honest and consistent has no substitution.
The best post ever offered by MO. Thanks. Now, how do we deal with the City of Victoria's fiscal disobedience?
Ummmm....Don't vote for any candidates with mustaches?
Mr. Ocker you should run for mayor next term. Otherwise we will have a ginger for a mayor.
The Pearls sound like very scary people! Won't be suggesting their methods to my son! Thanks for the heads up, Rebecca, should I ever hear anyone mention them!
Matt--am I reading you correctly--you have been able to develope a relationship with the boys that is based on mutual respect, without corporal punishment? A M A Z I N G! Who knew that could be done? Not the folks on the Advocate forum, for sure...
Paul is just not happy. Just watch a meeting.
Sitting here watching Anderson Cooper. He has Hillary Adams on there discussing the tape she made of her father. Following her are three women who are trying to defend their use of spanking as the best form of discipline. Two have the women have small children.
Some Super Nanny, not Jo Jo, will be discussing the spanking NEVER works.
So I have a question--If spanking were so effective and the perfect corrective tool, why aren't HR directors everywhere using corporal punishment? Why don't we do away with law prohibiting assault?
If time out were such a powerful tool in the public schools, why don't we have total discipline? The answer, no method is effective 100 percent of the time. And do not get me on the effectiveness of woman principals in public schools. But, just as there are a few bad apples in the male leadership positions, there are a couple good lady leaders in education.
I attended the Victoria Veteran's Day Wreath Laying Ceremony. A very well organized honor to our servicemen and ladies. Will Armstrong gave one of the best speeches I ever heard him give. The Titan Band's playing of Star Spangled Banner was out of this world. Nazareth Academy had a good youth choir. Thanks to all Servicemen and ladies past and present.
Post a Comment